It was quarter to dawn, all the Whos still abed, All the Whos still asnooze when he packed up his sled. Packed it up with their presents, the ribbons, the wrappings, The tags and the tinsel, the trimmings, the trappings.
Someone’s trying to leave town at Christmas, and taking our booze with him. I’m just going to be blunt about it. We need to stop this, and I don’t mean stand around in a circle singing “Fa Foo Foray.”
O Jeffrey! Single girls are kneeling at the river Willamette, beating their breasts and tearing out their hair. Eugene’s alcohipsters are wailing in the downtown streets, causing enough of a ruckus to be banned from the Special Fortified Police Zone. Old married hags (not mentioning any names) are shooting mournful photo montages:
And that weird tweeker couple who knocks on the window at Bel Ami will have to move on to Mac’s at the Vet’s.
Bitter, bitter days! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you’ll have to go visit our local bartender extraordinaire, Jeffrey Morgenthaler of Bel Ami, before he leaves for Portland next week. He has taken a position up there at Clyde Common, and it is a fantastic opportunity, and we wish him well because he’s a terrific guy as well as an ace mixologist and blah blah blah JEFFREY DON’T GO WE NEED YOU!
Ahem, sorry. It’s just that, well, I’m a graduate student. In English. In the last few months of my dissertation. And without a good bar, well…
Now, we shouldn’t feel quite so sad, since Jeff’s team will be taking over his duties at Bel Ami. Scott and Rico know Jeff’s repertoire as well as anyone can, and they also understand the hospitality and ambiance Jeff has cultivated at the bar. (But I should take this opportunity to complain about the noise level of the bands: jazz = good; in the corner next to the bar = deafening. Egads.) It’s my understanding that things won’t change much in the short run, so for that I’m grateful.
Still, I think we should give Jeff as much shit as possible for deserting us for a singular opportunity in a great city. Clyde Common is close enough to home that we can all go up there and continue to give him shit for a long time. So head over to Bel Ami this weekend and let your feelings be known.
Jeffrey Morgenthaler, we’ll miss you, we’ll visit you, and the best of luck and success in your new venture! We know Portland will love you as much as we do.