billy mac’s — better than a sharp stick in the eye

They should take away my restaurant reviewing privileges.  Luckily, no one is paying me, so they can’t, muwahahaha!  But I do feel so depressed when I do Eugene restaurant reviews, because I *want* them to be good.  I really do.

That said, I’m happy to report that Billy Mac’s on 19th and Jefferson is not terrible.  (And Molly, I agree with your comments on my earlier post 100%.)  It’s a burger joint.  Do we need another burger joint?  Eh, maybe.  The burgers are pretty good.  And the fries are a world better than the jo-jo monstrosities at Mac’s at the Vet’s.  The fries are, I’d venture to say, quite good.  They are still battered, but thinner than jo-jos and done with a light hand, and served in rather appealing cone cups with ketchup and fry sauce (= vinegary Russian dressing).  The pizzas weren’t so good, but they were still edible.  I had one with gorgonzola and fresh tomatoes that was swamped with mozzarella so you couldn’t really taste the gorgonzola.  Was it supposed to have herbs?  I don’t remember, but if so, they were buried under the cheese.  The crust was crispy, but oddly tough and overbearing.

Other people seemed to be enjoying their food.  I actually almost ordered a fried calamari “tapas” when I saw it come out, because it looked as if it had been fried perfectly.  But since I was already taking a bath in cheese, I refrained.  Someone else ordered a milkshake, touted on the menu as something very rare and special.  It’s ice cream and milk blended up, and not even top quality ice cream.  But different strokes.

As for ambiance, the airflow on the otherwise congenial deck overlooking the parking lot is a problem.  Some dude nursing a soda decided to smoke two cigarettes while everyone else was having their supper, and made us all inhale his carcinogens.  Rude.  Not the restaurant’s fault, but I wish there were another place for smokers. I had momentary Bay Area dreams, where one can sit outside at a café and drink a cappuccino with a pretty girl and not be choked with cancer stick.  Ahh…

Meh.  Another minus is the service — it’s that over-friendly, chatty, ignorant-as-newfallen-snow, customer-is-always-right, folks-next-door, scatterbrained service so many places in Eugene urge upon their poor service workers.  Please, please, Eugene restaurants: train your staff about the specials and make them taste everything on the menu and even form an opinion about things on the menu…or at the very least tell them to pay attention to what people are ordering so they can at least point to some popular choices.  When we were there, the waitstaff was limited to one person, and we came just before a freak rush, so we were largely forgotten, but I forgive this situation, especially in a new restaurant.

For me, the worst thing about Billy Mac’s is the use of the word “tapas” to mean “standard mediocre pub grub appetizers like chicken fingers and cheezy toast.”   Just.  Don’t.  It’s annoying at best, and at worst, it reminds us that we don’t live in a place that has a Spanish restaurant and thinks it can cover it up by pretending we do.

So…go to Billy Mac’s and enjoy a burger.

 

if you’re tired of greens

If you’re tired of greens and you know it, salad-spin, salad-spin!

If you’re tired of greens and you know it, salad-spin, salad-spin!

If you’re tired of greens and you know it and you’re trying to be a good little locavore and the whole damn state of Oregon is stuck in perpetual spring and it won’t get warm and your beans aren’t growing and your tomatoes are rotting on the vine and you’ve eaten more lettuce than an entire army of slugs and the greens still keep coming and coming, endlessly, leafily, inexorably, cruelly…

salad-spin, salad-spin!

I’ve grown so desperate, I even altered one of my oldest, dearest recipes to use up a braising mix of chard, kale, mustard greens and spinach. And the recipe? Green potstickers. Yes, potstickers. Who knew? I’ll post about it tomorrow when I have more time.

 

sigh.

Billy Mac’s is opening June 10. I’ve already posted about my fears that this will be the same old, same old: a Eugene restaurant that serves the same stuff that every other place in town serves. It looks like I was right. But tapas, you argue, they’re serving tapas. And I say TAPAS?! Why in the ethnic-food-diverse world? Has Eugene finally caught on to the Bay Area hot trend of…1999?

I’m sorry I’m preemptively bitter. But when I see that the McCallums are redecorating with family pictures to recreate a bit of Eugene gone by, I get really grumpy, rite quick. And last week’s Register-Guard headline, “El Vaquero back to its own ways,” didn’t help much. (Maybe that’s where they got the tapas idea.) The owners of El Vaquero decided not to sell and instead dump the expensive yuppie menu (good idea) and go back to the old menu (bad idea). Eugene, Eugene, Eugene, Eugene, Eugene. There are more than two ways to skin a cat.

And since I’m bitter today, I’ll just make a brief comment about a restaurant owned by another group of locals who is trying to do the same old, same old with pizzas and pastas…or rather trying to make meals you can make at home and charge restaurant prices for them. We finally made it to Pasta Ravello. Good god. I haven’t had a meal that dreadful in a long time. The space is nice, but it ends there. Indifferent service, slow kitchen (on a night where we were one of two couples in the restaurant), a wine “special” that was a scant glass of the dregs of a bottle of their priciest wine, a pizza with sauce so sweet it was like candied tomatoes, a spaghetti and meatballs special that was large, boiled (??) grey, under-seasoned meatballs with no more than a third of a cup of sauce over a huge mound of pasta, and Caesar salad that was nothing short of revolting. Thank god they served a lemon with it; we squeezed it on top and pretended it was wilted greens. Unsalted. Peh.

New blood, Eugene Restaurant Powers-That-Be, new blood!

 

buñueloni cocktail — keepin’ it real

One of the delights of blogging with WordPress is the feature that allows one to see how people reach the site through search terms. Some of my favorites include:

• root veggie puns
• bile sludge couscous like
• why put peanut butter in beef stew
• shake and bake one pot meth manufacture
• thai food tastes like bile
• will my cats eat my chickens
• “how to make” “chinese” “bamboo hat” and
• glutton free butter

Any guesses on what’s the number one search term of all my posts, one that hits my site about three times more than any other phrase?

How to cut an orange. Yes, folks, there is a serious dearth of information about the correct way to cut an orange. If I have any use in this world, anything they’d write on my epitaph, it will surely be that she knew how to cut oranges. And I’m glad to be of service.

But one search term that has started to come up at first thrilled me, then made me disgruntled. I was happy to see that people have started to become interested about the buñueloni, the drink invented by film director Luis Buñuel that I spent months painstakingly (ok, not so painstakingly but OCD was involved) researching. I’m no mixologist, but I truly feel I’ve made one small contribution to cocktalian culture by pinning down the perfect rendition of this drink. So I did a search on “buñueloni cocktail” and I see the intarnets are now flooded with recipes on all the free drink dot com sites. WTF? Their “buñueloni cocktail” is most decidedly NOT. The buñueloni does not have dry vermouth in it, there is no lemon, no orange juice, it is not served in a white wine glass, and it is not accompanied with a slice of lime. So, future searchers, search no more: if you are looking for the authentic (ish) recipe for the buñueloni cocktail, the one actually used (we think) by Buñuel, go to my recipe here.

/righteous indignation

 

penance

Bok choy stirfry for lunch.

And dinner.

No oil.

No spicy pickled radish.

No meat.

Just some dark soy and Chinese cooking wine.

Just to show how I suffer for my sins.

 

jefferson street grill?

What happened to the Jefferson St. Grill on Jefferson and W. 19th, and even more importantly, what will happen with the space? It just opened last year and friends say it’s now closed. We have eaten there a couple of times, and although it’s unquestionably nicer than Jake’s Place, which preceded it, there was something dissonant about a moderately upscale restaurant (e.g., prime rib, full bar) next to a convenience store. Or maybe it was the big OREGON LOTTERY sign on the restaurant marquee.

I’m going to cross my fingers that a neighborhood restaurant will open up that has more of a neighborhood feel — a lower-priced menu, more casual food (but not pub food, or wraps-n-sprouts in them, since we have way more than we need of those types of restaurants). It always felt too formal for us to eat there mid-week, on a budget, and yet too casual to go there when we wanted to splurge. It just didn’t fit the space. I guess others agreed.

Why not a sweet little bistro along the lines of The Vintage? Or even a café that serves soups and sandwiches? It’s too far away from downtown to be a bar of any weight or traffic, but it’s a busy and central enough location for folks commuting from work downtown or from the university to grab a bite.

 

pomegranates market: harissa for your carrots

What with the announcement of a new Moroccan restaurant planned for Eugene, I knew I had to go buy some harissa at our local Middle East market, Pomegranates, to celebrate with a big pot of couscous. I don’t have anything against musty, dusty ethnic grocery stores with bottles of mysterious sticky rat-chewed-labeled substances that no one has bought in at least 10 years, and I patronize them frequently. But Pomegranates is a different game. Owned and run by Julie Lenox-Sharifi, this clean, bright little store has lines of products that are clearly lovingly hand-selected. It has dry goods from Lebanon, Israel, Spain and Italy, among other places, and a full line of Persian packaged goods, plus Middle East-inflected spices from abroad and domestic companies, sweets from a variety of places, and a nice selection of Middle East cookbooks. Offered for tasting when I went last week was Turkish delight, Persian tea, regional Italian olive oils at excellent prices, and a pomegranate vinegar highly recommended by the delightful Ms. Lenox-Sharifi.

Now, on to the complainin’.

New Moroccan restaurant = good. The owner of Adam’$ Place running it = not $o good. When I look at a menu and see uninteresting dishes I can easily make at home with a few trendy geegaw garnishes and buzzwords ensuring price points that exclude academics from any more than an occasional evening out, I don’t have any interest in the place. Adam’s Place makes that mistake, and thus misses the opportunity to grab the market share for the university community.

But if the food is unusual, we’ll part with our coins. Moroccan food is always expensive, so that will keep the crowd in the economic bracket they seem to want, but I’m excited that the new restaurant is unusual enough to make US see the need to go out to eat there. I just really, really, really hope that the folks in charge will make good on their promise in the Register-Guard that it will aim to be authentic Moroccan, and not a mishmash of Middle Eastern cuisine “inspired” by the strong flavors of that huge, diverse area.

In any case, it will drum up an interest in Middle Eastern cooking, so I hope that Pomegranates will become more well-known and patronized in Eugene. So I’d advise you to get in on the action early. On March 15, at 6:00 pm, Ms. Lenox-Sharifi will be offering a Persian New Year (Na Rooz) cooking class at the fabulous kitchen in our local kitchen superstore, Hartwick’s. Call Hartwick’s at (541) 686-0126 for reservations. Classes fill up quickly and the price is great, so don’t hesitate if you’re interested.

At the market, I purchased Mustapha’s Moroccan harissa, highly recommended by Ms. Lenox-Sharifi, who also gave me her recipe for Carrot and Harissa Purée. This harissa is unusual in that it contains preserved lemons, and it isn’t nearly as spicy as other packaged harissas I’ve tried (e.g., the stuff in the tube they sell at Newman’s and Marché Provisions). If you try the recipe below and have a different harissa, please be sure to taste for spiciness and adjust accordingly.

Moroccan Carrot Purée with Harissa

(adapted from Julie Lenox-Sharifi’s recipe)

I hate carrots. They are one of the only foods that I actively dislike, and the only vegetable. I’ve searched long and hard for a carrot recipe that I like. This is it. I can’t get enough of this stuff. The carrots are bright and spunky, their natural sweetness counteracted by the lemon and chile in the harissa, and made smooth by the olive oil base. I used half a bag of old, leftover grocery store carrots, but I’m sure it would be even more brilliant with fresh garden carrots, especially the varieties good for roasting, such as Atomic Red.

1 lb. carrots, peeled and cut in 1-inch slices

3 cloves garlic, peeled

1/3 cup olive oil, plus extra for drizzling on carrots before roasting

1 T. Mustapha’s Moroccan harissa (or substitute 1 t. other harissa plus 1 t. chopped preserved lemons or 1 t. lemon juice plus some zest), or to taste

1/4 t. cumin

salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place carrots and garlic in baking dish, and drizzle with some olive oil. Roast until you see some dark brown spots, about 30 minutes depending on the water content in the carrots.

Let carrots cool to warm, then process them with harissa, cumin, salt and pepper in a food processor. Pour in 1/3 cup of olive oil as you process. Adjust seasonings. Serve at room temperature on slices of baguette, crackers, pita bread. Also would work well as a side dish or as a stuffing.

Yield: about 2 cups.

 

eugene needs a gelato shop…not!

I was excited to read this morning about a new retail space opening far, far away from me in North Eugene. Then I put on my curmudgeon hat. Eugene, declared the owner of one of the new establishments, needs a gelato shop!

Actually, Eugene needs a gelato shop like that old saying about a fish and a bicycle. Eugene most emphatically does not need a gelato shop. We have at least two places that sell wonderful gelato, Sweet Life Pâtisserie, one of Eugene’s greatest treasures, and the upscale Market of Choice on W. 29th. Sweet Life’s gelato bar sells another of Eugene’s treasures, Coconut Bliss, the vegan, coconut-based iced confection that is the only ice cream substitute I’ll eat. And let’s not forget that Eugene also boasts some of the best fresh ice cream in the country, Prince Pücklers, milord of the ünnecessary ümlaut.

So enough already.

We don’t need another Pan-Asian restaurant either, another promised establishment. Spare us the indignity of another Paul Fleming Chang’s. Please. In fact, we don’t need another Pan-Anything. Seriously, does any small town in American have *more* Pan-Asian and Pan-Latin restaurants than we do? (I, for one, am kind of excited that the owners of El Vaquero, Red Agave and Asado are thinking of selling — just to stop more expensive Pan-Latin restaurants from propagating.)

You want upscale? How about a great, Japanese-run, experienced Japanese-cheffed sushi bar that serves fresh sushi. Not Pan-Asian. No Pad Thai sashimi. No bulgogi miso soup with sweet-n-sour pork nuggets. I’d even suggest holding the rolled-up abominations of seven kinds of fish wrapped in fake crab, doused in sweet sauce and deep-fried that have become popular at American sushi bars, but then everyone would shush my crazy talk.

Or branch out, if you don’t think the Eugene crowd can handle sushi alone (and newsflash: they can). Mix sushi with izakeya food, if you must. Japanese bar cuisine. It’s big in places like San Francisco now and totally delicious, totally authentic (basically) and simple food: boiled dishes, grilled dishes, deep-fried dishes involving just a few ingredients.

Or how about a Szechuan restaurant? It would be the first time a chili pepper set foot in Eugene. Someone who knew how to make authentic, beautiful, simple, non-MSG-poisoned Chinese food. I mean, dudes, that Fuchsia Dunlop cookbook has been out for AGES.

Or Belgian. Honestly. We have great beer and seafood and local beef sources. Belgian bistro food. Get us out of that repetitive French mode — and this is from someone who truly loves French food, but enough already. Surely someone knows how to make simple french fries that aren’t frozen and/or soggy here. Yeah, yeah, I know you like tater tots. Deal.

I won’t even suggest Ethiopian, but damn, Eugene needs an Ethiopian restaurant. We have to drive to Portland to get it. But I think it’s just too exotic for Eugene, unfortunately. And the ingredients would be just about impossible to keep stocked. So never mind.

But Persian! REAL Persian. We have a Middle Eastern grocery store now, Pomegranates, neare the Southetowne Shoppes. I’ve never met a kebab I didn’t like. They’re simple and easy to make — even kids like them. Meat served with rice and a tomato and cucumber salad. And tons of yogurt. We have a local yogurt company, Nancy’s, for goodness sake! Please!

Or just as yogurty and even less exotic and politically charged — Greek! Roasted fish with lemon and olives, variety rotating daily. Beautiful little dips. Lamb. Soups. I’m thinking Baltimore’s The Black Olive (who catered our Baltimore wedding party, thanks again to my husband’s parents!), and their grilled fresh fish, served simply with lemon and olive oil. Oh, and the desserts. God. So. Good.

Or salad. Big, huge beautiful salads that you can buy without dodging children and hot wings. I’m thinking of Café Intermezzo in Berkeley here. It’s not that hard, really. Yes — a café that sells hand-tossed salads with simple ingredients, simple sandwiches on Metropol baguettes, and perfectly prepared coffee drinks. That’s what Eugene needs.

We’re not all suckers hungry for a theme restaurant or something that’s supposed to be classy. We want good food, a variety of options, ethnic food prepared with the intention of authenticity, at least, and simple deliciousness. We’ll pay for that.

 

restaurant reviews

I’m planning a few restaurant reviews. Reviewing restaurants in Eugene is just plain depressing. I don’t want to sound like a harpy or a snob or a complete whiner, but frankly, when it comes to restaurants, I am. This is a town crazy for expensive fusion, for pretentious luxury ingredients in otherwise easy-to-prepare dishes to justify an outrageous cost. To wit: I made a simplified version of Tony Bourdain’s bouillabaisse a couple of weeks ago, using fresh seafood from the Fisherman’s Market, of our three (!) wonderful seafood markets, and the bill came to about 30 bucks for a huge pot of soup and fish. I see bouillabaisse is on the menu at the French bistro in town for $27 a bowl. Honestly, I just can’t justify going out to eat something *that expensive* I can prepare at home with plenty of leftovers. I know my situation is a bit unusual because I have cooking chops and time on my side (well, that is when I’m not slaving away on the diss) and a disproportionate palate to cash ratio, but I still feel I should register my frustrations, since this here’s an academic town and academics do like to spend their money on meals.

So anyhoo, I have a couple of crabby restaurant reviews in the works. One of the goals of this blog is to provide unsponsored, culinarily literate restaurant reviews that aren’t along the lines of “I’ve never eaten sushi before, but OMG, this is the best sushi ever!” So that’s what yer gonna git, as soon as I finish gittin’.

First up is what I’ll call the Happy Chinese New Year Eugene’s Chinese Food Massacre. Just you wait, dear friends, just you wait.

 

how to make a veggie tray, and other discontents

The Eugene Register-Guard, like all American newspapers, is featuring recipes for the goddamn football game in its food section this week.  I know, I know, I shouldn’t modify football with ‘goddamn’ and still call myself an American, but I’m not a football fan, and assert my American freedom in saying I am not.   In the interest of full disclosure, I am interested in the, um, outfits of football players, and the way they, um, run on the field, but that’s about it.

But I am interested in party food, and cooking for a manly man, so I accept your American fascination with football recipes in January.  In fact, being a good sport, I will post my own tomorrow, an appetizer called “deconstructed gyro-stuffed mushrooms,” or as I will rename them, “mini-footballs with creamy garlic sauce.”

But until then, I’d like to complain about the recipes in my local rag:  honestly, Eugene Register-Guard, a recipe for how to make a veggie tray?  Do you really think we’re that idiotic?