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Joyce’s Ulysses is layered with Biblical motifs, one of my favorite being the messianic hope of a new day.  (I bet you didn’t know someone wrote her Master’s thesis on this very topic, didya?)  There’s an ongoing theme of being thwarted at the last minute before arriving in paradise, like poor old Moses who led the Israelites all the way to the promised land of Palestine, only to die after spying it from atop Mt. Pisgah.

The moral of that story is the darkest hour is before the dawn.

The moral of this story is FIX YOUR DAMN EQUIPMENT, ACTION RENT-ALL, BEFORE RENTING IT OUT TO PEOPLE IN THE FOOD SERVICE INDUSTRY WHO ARE JONESIN’ FOR SOME PIG ON A SPECIAL DAY.

Our friends had 80 pounds of pig to smoke yesterday, and we had our own Pisgah sight of paradise.  They found the rotisserie broken and something weird about the heating innards.

They did their best, being experienced smokemen, and so we waited, and drank, and reveled, and waited, and watched, and hoped, and sniffed, and shivered, and waited, and drank, and waited, and drank some more, and our mouths watered, and we talked about the glorious moment in which we’d open the smoker and all god’s glory would come tumbling out and we would sup from the milkiest honeyed pig you might possibly see.  Buddha would jump the wall, the Imam would faint, and vegans everywhere would come gaily skipping up into the South Hills at the smell of the Pig Piper’s porcine perfume.

But alas, it was not to be. No pig that night.  Rumor has it that the pig was still cooking into the early hours of the morning.

Luckily, we had grill-roasted spicy green beans and tandoori chicken, rather ingeniously marinated in salmon-colored yogurt in a big beverage cooler.  I have to get myself one of those for brining turkeys.  I brought along some lacto-fermented hot sauce and pickled cherries for the pig.  Needless to say, these were NOT CONSUMED WITH SMOKY, STICKY, FALLING-OFF-THE-BONE PORCULESCENCE, ACTION RENT-ALL.

Nevertheless, I’m pleased to say we had a triple-grill weekend with many friends and meats, and new horizons of vegetable possibilities for the barbie, as well.  And if you missed our show full of great alternative grilling tips from Eugene restaurant chefs on last Sunday’s Food for Thought on KLCC radio show because you were struggling with your own smoker, it’s available in .mp3 here.

What did you end up grilling, Eugeniuses?

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